"My Photoshop Skills are so good- I once shooped a THONG onto a DOG." --Count Tufive, on her apparent photoshop expertise

Because of the fact that it is summer and I have few to no friends in the vicinity, I've been mostly resigned to my room, watching Arrested Development on my XBox (which is less "Discordian" and more "fucking awesome"). However, folks, even if you are basically house-ridden, you can still mess around with Daily Acts of Discordianism...which I would call "DAD" if not for how incredibly creepy this sentence would subsequently become.

For example, take putting together a piece of household furniture - to some, a necessary task; to others, a formidable challenge against the restraints of our oppressors! I've made it an unspoken task of mine to never, EVER completely follow the directions when constructing do-it-yourself furniture. Now, while that may seem ill-advised, I assure you I only skip steps I am certain will not come back to haunt me (e.g. not putting the last screw in one of my handles for my dresser so it kind of hangs down a little but overall does not detract from the dresser experience, deeming one shelf door as unnecessary when constructing a desk, smashing in my television screen because all the box people were judging me with their shining eyes and perfectly coiffed hair). This is definitely something anyone who uses furniture can do to further a healthy, chaotic lifestyle - because if there's one battle I know I can win in life, it's the one against my dresser.

Look at that smug bastard with his...golden, smooth exterior and shiny, metallic knobs...
Stupid sexy paneling.

George's Weakness is his Eyes!

Fuck a duck, it's been a while.

Last night, Eris decided that, because I have been lacking in my Discordian ways, she was going to force it a bit. We had a party at my apartment last night, Mexican Bandito themed. As always, it simply turned into Drinking themed, but at least I was wearing a sombrero and donning a handlebar moustache drawn in with non-toxic washable markers. The washable part was correct, the ink came off very easily. I do, however, have my doubts about the validity of non-toxic. As I type this, my moustache is still very visible, though now a bright red, due to an apparent allergic reaction to the marker ink.

I have a bright red handlebar moustache. What's more Discordian than that?

Anyways, It's the summer, I'm barely working, have no money and no girlfriend. Perfect set of circumstances for fucking around with people. SUGGESTIONS, YO!

Daily Discord: Have an axe with you, all day. Look at people like they're crazy if they bring it up.

You've Got a Pretty Mouth

Jesus, nobodies posting on here. This saddens me.

Anyways I'm posting in regards to a recent discordian project undertaken here at Alfred University. It is an elaborate extension of PosterGASM. We have prepared a rating system that will give buildings a letter grade on how if would fair as a defensive structure during the theorized Zombie Apocalypse Scenario (ZAS). Working in conjunction with Max Brooks and the U.S. Department of Defense we have developed the following rubric.

If anyone could review it for typos or just areas where it could be tuned up it would be handy. I encourage you all to join me in rating the buildings on your respective campus's sometime this week or next.