Wednesday, July 14, 2010

"My Photoshop Skills are so good- I once shooped a THONG onto a DOG." --Count Tufive, on her apparent photoshop expertise

Because of the fact that it is summer and I have few to no friends in the vicinity, I've been mostly resigned to my room, watching Arrested Development on my XBox (which is less "Discordian" and more "fucking awesome"). However, folks, even if you are basically house-ridden, you can still mess around with Daily Acts of Discordianism...which I would call "DAD" if not for how incredibly creepy this sentence would subsequently become.

For example, take putting together a piece of household furniture - to some, a necessary task; to others, a formidable challenge against the restraints of our oppressors! I've made it an unspoken task of mine to never, EVER completely follow the directions when constructing do-it-yourself furniture. Now, while that may seem ill-advised, I assure you I only skip steps I am certain will not come back to haunt me (e.g. not putting the last screw in one of my handles for my dresser so it kind of hangs down a little but overall does not detract from the dresser experience, deeming one shelf door as unnecessary when constructing a desk, smashing in my television screen because all the box people were judging me with their shining eyes and perfectly coiffed hair). This is definitely something anyone who uses furniture can do to further a healthy, chaotic lifestyle - because if there's one battle I know I can win in life, it's the one against my dresser.

Look at that smug bastard with his...golden, smooth exterior and shiny, metallic knobs...
Stupid sexy paneling.

1 comment:

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