"My Photoshop Skills are so good- I once shooped a THONG onto a DOG." --Count Tufive, on her apparent photoshop expertise

Because of the fact that it is summer and I have few to no friends in the vicinity, I've been mostly resigned to my room, watching Arrested Development on my XBox (which is less "Discordian" and more "fucking awesome"). However, folks, even if you are basically house-ridden, you can still mess around with Daily Acts of Discordianism...which I would call "DAD" if not for how incredibly creepy this sentence would subsequently become.

For example, take putting together a piece of household furniture - to some, a necessary task; to others, a formidable challenge against the restraints of our oppressors! I've made it an unspoken task of mine to never, EVER completely follow the directions when constructing do-it-yourself furniture. Now, while that may seem ill-advised, I assure you I only skip steps I am certain will not come back to haunt me (e.g. not putting the last screw in one of my handles for my dresser so it kind of hangs down a little but overall does not detract from the dresser experience, deeming one shelf door as unnecessary when constructing a desk, smashing in my television screen because all the box people were judging me with their shining eyes and perfectly coiffed hair). This is definitely something anyone who uses furniture can do to further a healthy, chaotic lifestyle - because if there's one battle I know I can win in life, it's the one against my dresser.

Look at that smug bastard with his...golden, smooth exterior and shiny, metallic knobs...
Stupid sexy paneling.

George's Weakness is his Eyes!

Fuck a duck, it's been a while.

Last night, Eris decided that, because I have been lacking in my Discordian ways, she was going to force it a bit. We had a party at my apartment last night, Mexican Bandito themed. As always, it simply turned into Drinking themed, but at least I was wearing a sombrero and donning a handlebar moustache drawn in with non-toxic washable markers. The washable part was correct, the ink came off very easily. I do, however, have my doubts about the validity of non-toxic. As I type this, my moustache is still very visible, though now a bright red, due to an apparent allergic reaction to the marker ink.

I have a bright red handlebar moustache. What's more Discordian than that?

Anyways, It's the summer, I'm barely working, have no money and no girlfriend. Perfect set of circumstances for fucking around with people. SUGGESTIONS, YO!

Daily Discord: Have an axe with you, all day. Look at people like they're crazy if they bring it up.

You've Got a Pretty Mouth

Jesus, nobodies posting on here. This saddens me.

Anyways I'm posting in regards to a recent discordian project undertaken here at Alfred University. It is an elaborate extension of PosterGASM. We have prepared a rating system that will give buildings a letter grade on how if would fair as a defensive structure during the theorized Zombie Apocalypse Scenario (ZAS). Working in conjunction with Max Brooks and the U.S. Department of Defense we have developed the following rubric.

If anyone could review it for typos or just areas where it could be tuned up it would be handy. I encourage you all to join me in rating the buildings on your respective campus's sometime this week or next.

“I am hoping that I can be known as a great writer and actor some day, rather than a sex symbol.” -- Steven Seagal

Unfortunately, I have been unable to keep up with my random "Acts of Anarchy," due to the ever-growing college workload. I hope to be back soon, however, with something big, beautiful, and completely chaotic.

Yeah. Something like this.

(Note: I have all the Photoshop prowess of a decapitated hedgehog, with about half the charm.)

Alright, Guys and Gals, we have a mission!

That's right! So, we all know about the WCYY thing. Now we get to be a part of it. I've already set up a protest in the name of ERIS for thursday, 5:00 PM, and would love your support. Call in to CYY (792-9299) and tell them when and where the protest is (Monument Square). Send poster ideas. Etc. GO GO GO. I'll update again after the protest, and tell us how it goes.

DAILY DISCORD: Eat a banana as slowly as you can.

King Kong Died For Our Sins

I have been encouraged by the Tony's posts to participate in Project PosterGASM. I have been printing out tons of discordian posters and keeping them and some tape in my bag so I can put them up where I see fit. If you want to jump in click here and here.

Also, Ashley decided to throw in some Discordian room arrangements in a common area at her college, by completing the circle:

Repeat: "Circular logic works because,"

Daily Discord: Open up a napkin holder and write deep personal messages on the napkins before closing it back up. Take a shot in the psychological dark!

"Repent Ticktockman" Said the Harlequin

Today I walked by the door of my R.A. and had found some mathematics on his door's white board with the header, "I was bored". I decided to check his math and found some problems with his integral, it lacked a constant of integration and a dx. I helped him correct the error of his ways while informing him of the problems with his original equation.

After this I decided to go to my room and work on one of my various charities. You know that every year around 50 students between the ages of 12-18 are sent into the frozen arctic to starve, with nothing to eat but what the cafeteria can serve them. Well no more! So I got the name of one of these first years and decided to send them some food. Some fully cooked oriental ramen to be precise with a letter explaining the cause of the charity, in a white envelope.

Mmmm. Who ordered delivery?

Hopefully USPS can find it in their hearts to send this one along. I suggest finding a first year of your own and give the gift of lunch today.

Daily Discord: Pretend to practice a religion you know little to nothing about.

FLAMAJAM

Alright, I haven't done anything too interesting as of late. However, I have tommorrow off, and will do something fairly DISCRODANT. Yeah, discrodant. Sugggestioooons?

DAILY DISCORD: Steal your own car.

Fat people produce 33.7% of all greenhouse gases

All unmarked doors lead to pelican storage and rehabilitation facilities. It's sort of a shame you didn't already know that.

Armchair Hero'd

I have an interior design class. Yeah, I know. Anyway, we have to design a yurt. Therefore, I will be constructing the world's first ROVING VIKING AWESOMEFUCK YURT. I expect an A. I'll update you once I have the plans drawn up.

I followed Tony's DD, and called up my dentist, and told her to remove my appointment for next week. She told me that I hadn't made an appointment, that my next one was in several months. I said "Scandalous!" and hung up.

I'm going to start making and printing some fake signs for school. Also, I found a fort. I'll check it out, and see it's potential.

Daily Discord: Call a Starbucks and ask for Ice Cream Cake. When they say they don't offer it, ask for a manager. Tell the manager that he/she is a racist.