Friday, September 18, 2009

Me Going Legit Would Be Like Jarjar on Speech Therapy

This next act of mayhem requires a small preamble for anyone not attending the University of Pittsburgh:

Here at Pitt, we have various computing labs around campus. I am one of the privileged 200-or so to have the reputable honor to work at these labs. Ever since I have accepted the Erisian ideology, I have been searching for a way to integrate my philosophical views on chaos into my daily work environment. And voilĂ ! Today was a sweet cascade of pandemonium and discord at Hillman Library, home of the busiest computer lab on campus.


"From every floor erupted waves of terror, punctuated with screams of anarchic triumph and the gentle lull of the book demagnetizer." -- Robert Frost, Stopping by Hillman on a Friday Evening


When a student goes into a computer lab to print a document, because of the sheer magnitude of jobs sent to the printers, each document comes with a colored cover sheet (referred to lovingly by the staff as "banner sheets"). On this banner sheet, a student's username (that is, their initials and a number), job title, and remaining print quota are displayed. When a document is printed, the lab consultants transfer all print-outs from the printers to the "output table," arranging them in a semblance of alphabetical order to simplify the printing process.

Anyway, the point of that tedious interlude is this: While most banner sheets list only the student's initials and a number representing their frequency, what if an ENTIRE NAME were on the banner sheet? What havoc would ensue from such an act? Better yet, what if OBI-WAN KENOBI'S name was on a banner sheet, signifying his enrollment at the University of Pittsburgh and his ability to print from a remote dimension? Well, that, my friends, is where I bring you to my act of discord for today.

A banner-sheet looks a little something like this:

Now, for our hero, Benny-Boy Kenobi, his banner sheet looked like this (with a little Photo-Shoop Manipulation by yours truly):



(Minus the strange blur and jpeg-artifacts, thank you very much)


After fiddling with the printer's configurations for a bit (because anyone who is any one knows how to manipulate your school print job to print from a specific tray, thus ensuring it's size/color/and output mode, amirite?), I finally acquired OBI-WAN KENOBI banner sheet, complete with a simple Word file entitled To Anakin, With Love. Thus, I promptly put Kenob's highly sensitive document onto the output table, eager to observe the reaction of the general populace.


TO BE CONTINUED...

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